PETA takes a jab at the Fatties, and the Fatties throw a sweet uppercut to return the favor

01Sep09

simpsons crazy cat ladyAs a card-carrying Crazy Cat Lady, this Fatty is all for saving fuzzy critters, but I’m not down with blindly towing the line for the freaks at PETA. First off, this group runs itself like a religious cult, from the over-bearing leaders ordering minions what to eat, what to buy, where to sit and how to live, to the numerous campaigns designed to increase population of their species supporters. Secondly, I’m hesitant to follow any jackhole who thinks they get to determine what is “ethical” and what isn’t (honestly, didn’t we just elect those assholes out of the White House?).

Oh, and while I’m spewing, let me just jump out of bounds for a minute… I have issue with these people and eggs. I never understood where the vegans stand on this food. Eggs aren’t automatically the product of beaten animals. Although I’m only a novice Farm Town Farmer, I’m pretty sure that you don’t have to whack a chicken on the head with nunchuks so it lays an egg. It’s like pooping. It just drops out. Do vegans object to eating bird doo? Unlikely. I’m pretty sure that’s a main ingredient in that meat-free sausage anyway. And really, have you any doubt that Martha Stewart’s chickens not only eat better than you, but live in a coop that was built by an award-winning architect, sleeping in chicken bays designed by a fleet of designer queens who lovingly brushed the walls with soothing shades of low-VOC exotic sea blue paint for a glorified toolshed that exceeds the value of your own house? So back off the eggs you crazies, a girl can’t be expected to give up cookies without a GD good reason.

Where was I now? Right… lastly, there’s the fact that these PETA people are just assholes. Dirty, nasty and unkempt, like a big brown hole of hog hooey, plopping big ol’ shit bombs anywhere and everywhere. And although I’ve enjoyed their classic spray paint attacks on obscene fur coats, there’s no way I’m going to walk a spider out of my house. This promotion of a “cruelty-free” life is crap. Who decides what is cruel and what isn’t? Exactly. So PETA, who is best known for the in-your-face ads that slap you silly with insane, offensive and typically inaccurate mantra, repeatedly makes the most ridiculous claims. One of the latest theories: Vegetarian and vegan diets result in slim, sexy beach-bods. Bullshit. This nonsense is riding high on a billboard in Florida.

petaisassholes

Their post quotes some data (probably a poll amongst flakey college students fronting as party-line fanatics, despite toting buttery leather Prada bags), claiming that these non-meat eaters are 20-30% thinner than their blood-soaked animal gnawing counterparts. More bullshit. I’m not even going to waste my time convincing you this isn’t true – you already know a bunch of fat vegetarians. We all do. That’s not the point. The attempt to villify Fatties with this low blow shot won’t go unanswered. So let’s slap them back this time, and give these carrot thumpers something to cry about. This shit ain’t cool and we ain’t having it. I was inspired by Lesley, who had a great idea and shows a way to Twitter a response here. So say it proud: Fuck you, Peta. Fuck you loud and clear.

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One Response to “PETA takes a jab at the Fatties, and the Fatties throw a sweet uppercut to return the favor”

  1. All I can say is wow-how stupid is that? As the fat mother of a fat vegetarian I that billboard really pisses me off.


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