Oreo Cakester Review

11Aug09

choc oreo cakesterOn a recent trip to Murder Mart I happened upon a tasty treat that would normally be destined for a Gumby lunchbox. Tragically I have no work place or school house to attend (tragic only in that I have no reason to buy things like Lunchables. Not that my life is an endless parade of leisure time). And it somehow is just plain pitiful to bag up serving of Cheetos or carrot sticks for a midday meal at home. Unfortunately, I can’t help but toss heavily-marketed prepackaged snacks into my grocery trolley. Blame the Spongebob sponsors – you can’t imagine the aggressive high pressure sales tactics they use on (me and) your kids when you’re not looking. The latest goody I’ve indulged in – the Oreo Cakester, in chocolate creme. Let me first admit, I don’t even like Oreo’s. To me, the traditional Oreo cookie is made of two hard, crunchy hideously-obvious store-bought discs of cement, dyed with flavorless cocoa powder, stabilized with additives to make the shelf-life competitive to the notorious Twinkie. Now if you can manage a bite through the nearly impenetrable chocolate-flavored wafer, without your gums busting out into a hot bloody mess, you will discover the bleached white cream interior. Manufactured from combination of animal lard and stark white sugar, the center of an Oreo is not only void of taste, it could surely double as spackle should a cruise ship slam into an iceberg during a cross-Atlantic tour. Fortunately the chocolate creme Cakester tastes nothing like this severe black and white wheel of cookie crap.

Instead, the Oreo Cakester is a tasty sandwich treat consisting of two moist mini cakes, married together with a helping of supple frosting center. My chocolate variety featured choco cakes and a choco filling, but there are also nilla cake and peanut butter frosting versions. Rather than competing with the namesake’s tooth-bruising cookies available throughout the Nabisco aisle, the Cakester is more like the Little Debbies and Hostess delights – think Swiss Rolls, Ho-ho’s or Zebra Cakes. And just in time to laugh in the face of those $3 gourmet cupcake eateries, the Cakester does a decent job of soothing your sweet tooth desires, matching wits with even the best mini-cupcakes in a pinch.

Pros: Moist mini cakes with creamy filling center, so delightful it inspired FattyPoetry.

An Oreo Cakester Haiku

deep dark cakey bite

smooth creamy frosting center

hides in my tummy

Cons: Ridiculously stupid name. What happened to the Oreo Cakerino, the Cakemeister or the Cakerama?

* Note that the Oreo cookie views of this authoring Fatty do not necessarily represent the views of all FattyChow members. So just pull your panties out of your crack. Also note that this Fatty reserves the right to appreciate Oreos as an ingredient to other dishes, whether it is a pie crust, an ice cream shake or crumbly topping, even though it remains a yucky cookie on its own.

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