Drag Queens Show How to Store the Family Jewels

10Feb09

rupaul-drag-raceNow that we’ve started dishing out television advice, let us be the ones to introduce you to RuPaul’s Drag Race. For safety’s sake, be sure to slip on some secure, reliable protection before you slide on over to the Gay Channel (139 on my dial), as this is the real deal folks. RuPaul, the 90’s tranny Supermodel goddess, introduced this season’s hippest reality show, the Drag Race, which pits a batch of sparkle-adorned girly boys dressed in outrageous fashions designed specifically for those with resumes including job duties “working the pole.” How trashy are these vixens? On the first episode there was more than one ladyman that showed up with the ass cut out of their pants. I can’t wait to see what they cut out next week. The show’s goal is to select the next drag superstar… though who knows what that prize actually entails. I hope it comes with tetanus shots.

Now what does drag queen action have to do with the fatties? Well, as mentioned last time, we like to root for the Fatty underdog amongst the competing crowd. Drag Race featured one Victoria Porkchop (her self-title, not mine), a chunky fun-loving red head that stole my heart on the first show! Unfortunately, the initial competition included creating glam slut gear from thrift store finds. While the ass-bearing girls swept the award, the chubster had a tough time working with garage-sale finds and bombed something nasty. Worse yet, RuPaul had the losers standoff a lip synch of her one-hit-wonder, Supermodel. And, well, Porkchop didn’t make it work, so she was sent packing. With our girl escorted to the exit it’s hard to pick another show favourite. However, like a disturbing mess of unholy trashiness, I can’t help but be lured in by the fascinating art of the drag queen, so I’m already hooked. And I’m hoping they will eventually reveal how they stash the family jewels and manage to dress in bikinis too.

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