Krappy Kremes


krappy-kreme Krispy Kreme may have their hoards of fans waiting breathlessly for the HOT NOW sign to illuminate, but this fatty has been disappointed in their donuts for the last time and is officially adding them to The List. During a recent venture to the North Seattle Krispy Kreme location we stopped for a half dozen fried treats, selecting 4 original glazed (the classic plain jane) and 2 Bavarians (which they wrongly label chocolate-iced custard-filled). While one chubster Hoovered the first five fat bombs, I opted for the last surviving Bavarian, selecting one of the true donut classics. What a disgrace.

First, you’ll notice that this donut is miniature in stature. It’s clearly smaller in size, more than an inch less in diameter than the typical filled-donut offering, which, after much research in this field, I am quite familiar with such details. Second, after lifting the donut its weight is far less substantial than appropriate, clearly lacking in enough creamy custard filling. Third, the chocolate glaze is a semi-sweet variety, scantily draped in a thin icy coating, rather than a proper thick ganache chocolate covering. While I understand this variety is not the featured KK product, these people claim to have the latest in donut technology and be a leader in the industry. As such, they should not only master the regular, classic donut recipes, but also be the first in the market to promote new and innovative fried dough delights. Instead, they remain hooked on their original boring glazed variety, which may make a good bread pudding, but overall they fail to bring exciting new products to the market. (And stamping out donuts in a heart shape for Valentine’s day does not meet expectations people.)

So next time you’re craving fresh tasty donuts avoid the HOT NOW glow and drive right by your local Krappy Kreme. Instead, if you can’t make it to Voodoo, Top Pot, or Doughnut Plant, I’d recommend a trip to the grocery store, going for the giant, daily donut creations being whipped up at the local Haggen/Top Foods. They make enormous and generous donuts, with spectacular results for Bavarians, holiday-inspired Jimmies and the Seattle specialty, the apple fritter.

And while we’re chatting fried dough, does anybody know where you can get donut holes with dippers… or must us fatties invent everything?


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