The Fatties Donut Road Trip


Voodoo donut box We recently braved rain, sleet and snow to travel to Portland, Oregon, to sample the treasures found at the landmark Voodoo Doughnuts just past the Burnside Bridge. After being featured across various media (TV, Internets and magazines), Voodoo is a bit of a tourists trap, so brace yourself for a line thick with lookie loos. And watch for the obnoxious panhandling teens outside, pretending to be homeless. With their hopelessly witless signs and their Abercrombie and Fitch jeans. Give nothing. It just encourages their breeding.

Voodoo is a teeny, tiny shop, full of eclectic signs, edgy pictures and an even a spicier staff of bakers and cashiers. On our first trip, we opted for the dozen, which they pick. First, we love the box. This line is also featured on the t-shirts. Their other tag line is “the magic is in the hole.” But no, there were no donut holes. I imagine there was some witty retort should we have actually inquired further.


Voodoo donut goodness

We received a decent variety of twelve, but most of them were fairly typical as far as donut craft goes. Cruellers, cakes and filled. The winner of this selection, the one doused in mini MnMs. In order to get the specialties raved about, we’ve opted to get those on day two.


Voodoo MnM donut

Day two we arrived with a plan. The Bacon Maple Bars, as these are only available on the weekend. Unfortunately, our early afternoon arrival hadn’t counted on the possibility that they could be sold out. Ah, well, another visit. We did manage to secure three delicacies, though the box weighed at least 4 pounds. First, the Cap’n Crunch. Yum. It will inspire you to smash cereal into more of your meals. Second, the Memphis Mafia. A banana fritter littered with chocolate chips, and topped with chocolate and peanut butter frosting. Like Elvis, get it? And the ultimate – the Cock and Balls. This is a risque Bavarian treat, except your $5 gets you a good size of cream-filled man meat. I mean, good god, it hardly even fits in the box. That just never happens. 


Voodoo Cock and Balls Donut


So, thank you Voodoo, for all that you do. Note that the donut menu, like the Nordstrom shoe department, changes quite often, so in order to keep your fatty fashion sense on point, you’ll have to go back often. 


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