Recipes Recommendations Needed

04Mar08

 

No stirringI recently received lunch provided by a dear fellow FattyChow reader. It started promising because I’m all for nostalgia, so when I spotted the Blue Box Mac n’ Cheese on the counter, I was ready to dig in. I offered to dish out the cheesy noodle goodness, filling all other plates before mine. This turned to a most unfortunate decision, for as I neared the bottom of the pan, I scooped to find no orange pasta coated with powdered cheese mix, but rather a corner of cold, naked noodles that had been ignored by the stirring. I happened upon the Mac with no Cheese. Pitiful.And while it was offered that this was perhaps a new, limited edition white and orange cheese swirled flavour, I knew this was a vicious lie. These were shameless nude elbows that had been neglected covering by their cheesy blanket.

And what goes with sad, lonely cheeseless mac? Well, nothing but shrunken sausages hidden inside lumps of charcoal. The chef offered them as mini-bagel dogs, but these were no such things. Bagel dogs are warm soft dough, nestled around salty pork fat nuggets, begging to be dipped in a pool of ranch dressing. As with most pre-made foods, the only preparation necessary is re-heating. What could possibly go wrong, you wonder. Try leaving them in the oven about an hour longer than the 8 minutes required. The result is hardened crusts of dough that have dried and withered away from the heat, providing a cocoon around the shriveled, dehydrated sausage links. A sorrowful death for any hot dog.

So, to help out our challenged FattyChow cook, we’re requesting recipe suggestions that might be easier to prepare. If you have any recommendations for any simple treats, entrees or snacks that would be better suited for somebody who lacks basic cooking skills, please send them our way. Of course, ideal recipes should not include any stirring or baking. Something along the line of… Ants on a Log.

Ants on a Log
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One Response to “Recipes Recommendations Needed”

  1. 1 The Bunny

    I like Fancy Feast and it has an easy pull-tab handle that even a 7-toed cat can manage.


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