China starts food fight with Japan


gyoza pot sticker Poor ol’ Japan has been attacked again, but this time it wasn’t us. And, it wasn’t an atom bomb.The Chinese have initiated an assault on their island neighbors by sending in a fleet of poisoned dumplings, apparently, as some new millennium warfare. According to news reports, over 100 Japanese citizens became ill after eating Chinese manufactured pot stickers. This follows the poisoned kitty chow delievered to unsuspecting pets last year. Those same jackasses have now taken their toxins into to the human food chain. Chemical weapons disguised as gyozas. They must be whipping up batches of poison around the clock to keep the supply going on the front line.

There’s been much speculation — alleged tampered packaging and mysterious plots with political intrigue. None of this interests us. We’re all for spreading the spirit of hate and discontent. That is, after all, one of our favorite messages to deliver. However, we simply can’t stand to watch this be done using beloved FattyChow delicacies. The pot sticker is a much revered dumpling of delight… a perfect won ton envelop, holding in morsels of chicken and veggies, carefully steamed, then receiving the honorary single-sided sear before it is ultimately submerged a zesty dipping sauce.


So, China, you’re On Notice. Food is love. Food is family. Food is fatty. But food, is quite simply. not a weapon.


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