Hurley ate the giant polar bear


Hurley from Lost drinkingLost! We’re thrilled you’re back. And most importantly, we’re delighted to see that our treasured FattyChow hero, Hurley, is already a featured character this season. We like to pay homage to Hugo, that lovable lump o’ lotto winnings, who maintains his manly girth, despite being plane-wrecked on an (almost) deserted island. We know those freaks on that ridiculous reality show Survivor shrink down to flesh and bones in mere weeks, but months have gone by and Hurley perseveres. He’s wandered all over the island (undoubtedly in search of a taco truck), trekking through forests and fauna, yet clearly hasn’t burned a single calorie. And it was our boy – the one who managed to locate, hoard and, eventually, devour the secret food stash on the island. (You can see how we’ve come to suspect him in the disappearance of the polar bear.)

We’re overjoyed to have Hurley back in our homes for some FattyChow loving, and we’ll be cooking up some special treats on Thursday nights just to celebrate our champ of chunk.
BTW, We’d like to take this opportunity to advise the ABC show creators that while we enjoy the occasional flash-forward, the minute these crash survivors get pulled off that island, you will have to change the name of the show from Lost to Found. Otherwise, you know the drill… you’ll go on The List.


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